Every time I go to my local coffee shop to write, I'm surrounded by a sea of laptops and netbooks, many with open Word or Final Draft documents containing those unmistakable text "shapes" known collectively as a screenplay: wide blocks of description, narrow blocks of dialogue. From a distance it looks like Tetris being played by someone who has no idea what the object of the game is.
Similarly, I'm fairly certain that these screenplays are being written by people who have no clue how to tell an original story. Here's my guess of how these hundreds of screenplays living on hard drives across the city break down:
- 30%: 30 Rock spec scripts (most, presumably, not even close to the show's high standard of comedy)
- 9%: rewrites of films that have already been made. Yes, believe it or not, there is a sub-genre of "writer" that insists on rewriting scripts of films they didn't like. I know of someone who, and I quote from his blog, "I spent a few years in geek hell compulsively re-writing this movie [Star Wars: The Phantom Menace], literally, and no good came of it.' (Well, duh!)
- 30%: sci-fi/superhero movies
- 20%: horror/slasher/supernatural movies
- 10%: teen sex comedy movies
- 1%: solid, original scripts
Well, Creative Types, the answer is "No". No, I won't read your Zombie Batman vs. Vampire Spider-Man script! No, don't send me your pitch for the next Star Trek series... What? Cloverfield vs. Aliens?! You do realize that "Cloverfield" refers to an area of Central Park and isn't the name of the monster, don't you? And you? You're writing a movie about people who fall in love over Twitter?
Listen, just forget I said anything, and I'll try not make eye contact with you while you're out writing your Masterpiece. Deal?
... AND, there is a large percent of the above script types which just recover what films are hot right now; or of recent years. Of course, by the time the script could be sold (fat chance) the 'stove-top heat element' is stone cold. Actually, the stove has been replaced with a new model!
ReplyDeleteAs any script-writing handbook will tell you, and it is sage advice, never, ever copy what films are doing boffo biz at the B.O. at this very moment.
To tell you the truth so many aspiring screenplay writers have no imagination... or any "originality" in their bodies. (Not that there is anything wrong with that. These people have other strengths that get shut out in the name of really, really wanting to be a "screenwriter". The heart breaks.)
It's like any commercial art form. The products become copies of copies of copies.
ReplyDeleteExactly. That is a saying of mine. It's bad when the aspiring filmmakers just see the copies of the copies of the copies. Go back to the source material... or, at the least, something better.
ReplyDelete